The discourse “Serving Others” by Dr. Alireza Nurbakhsh (from the Nimatullahi Sufi Order) explores how genuine spiritual practice—rooted in cultivating love—naturally leads to serving others rather than focusing solely on personal gain or self-improvement. It contrasts the original intent of Eastern traditions (like Sufism, Buddhism, and yoga), where awakening or inner growth served to alleviate others’ suffering, with their modern Western adaptations, which often prioritize individual stress relief, bliss, or productivity. In authentic Sufi contexts, love expands beyond the self, compelling selfless service without obligation—seeing beauty in all things drives one to help, as “once you see in yourself the capacity to love everything, you have no choice but to serve and help others.” The piece notes that this service isn’t burdensome but arises from an inner force of love, and it even counters psychological struggles like depression and anxiety. It’s not a rigid medieval samurai bushido or a battlefield-only ethos. Instead, it’s tailored for 21st-century men navigating relationships, purpose, inner work, and society. The code encourages a balanced, conscious masculinity: strong yet compassionate, disciplined yet self-aware, action-oriented yet connected.

Building on this spiritual perspective, modern psychology strongly supports why a healthy mental state fosters serving others (prosocial behavior like helping, volunteering, or altruism). A healthy psychology—characterized by emotional stability, resilience, positive self-regard, empathy, and regulated emotions—creates the inner resources and motivation to extend care outward.

Here are key psychological reasons:

1. Reduced self-focus and ego preoccupation

When someone has good mental health, they experience less rumination, anxiety, or depressive self-absorption. This frees attention and energy to notice others’ needs. In contrast, psychological distress often turns inward, making it harder to act prosocially. Healthy individuals can shift perspective more easily, finding purpose beyond personal struggles—aligning with the discourse’s idea that love transcends ego.

2. Enhanced empathy and emotional regulation

Good mental health strengthens empathy (understanding others’ feelings) and the ability to regulate one’s own emotions. Research shows that helping others regulate their emotions (e.g., offering support or reappraisal) improves the helper’s own emotion regulation skills, creating a positive feedback loop. This bidirectional link means mentally healthy people are better equipped—and more inclined—to offer compassion.

3. Neurochemical and emotional rewards reinforce the behavior

Acts of serving trigger “feel-good” chemicals like dopamine (pleasure/reward), serotonin (mood stability), and oxytocin (bonding/trust). These create a “helper’s high” or “warm glow,” boosting happiness, self-esteem, and life satisfaction. People with healthy psychology already have balanced neurochemistry, making them more receptive to these rewards and more likely to seek them through altruism rather than self-indulgence alone.

4. Greater sense of purpose, belonging, and resilience

Healthy mental states include higher life satisfaction and lower isolation. Serving others provides meaning, strengthens social connections, and builds resilience against stress or hardship. Studies link prosocial behavior to reduced depression symptoms, better physical health, and even longevity—benefits that motivate continued helping. Happier, more fulfilled individuals naturally engage more in altruism, as the association between well-being and prosociality is bidirectional.

5.Lower barriers from distress

Mental health struggles (e.g., high stress, low energy, or negative affect) can inhibit helping due to overwhelm. A healthy psychology removes these barriers, allowing love or compassion (as in Sufi teachings) to flow freely into action.

In essence, the Sufi discourse describes serving others as the natural outflow of cultivated inner love, which dissolves self-centeredness. Psychology echoes this by showing that mental health provides the emotional freedom, empathy, reward sensitivity, and purpose needed to act on that love. Serving isn’t just a moral or spiritual ideal—it’s a hallmark of psychological flourishing, where helping others reinforces and sustains well-being in a virtuous cycle. Both views converge: true health, whether spiritual or psychological, expresses itself in generosity toward others.

source : https://www.nimatullahi.org/discourses/serving-others